Unless you’re the negative nilly–then by all means let them, so you can be your Best Self this holiday season!
Dr. Amen and many others have written books about how WE can change our brains. They concur that not only do we have the ability, but we have the responsibility, to make sure we, and our children, take measures to live, think and act in ways that create optimal brain health.
But did you know that our brains are literally influenced by the brain waves of those we are with? I learned this from my Relationship Coaching teacher several years ago but in teaching the Bringing Baby Home workshop I have been reminded of that crazy fact. Dr. John Gottman has studied thousands and thousands of couples over the course of 30+ years. He is so good at what he does that he can predict, within 5 minutes, if a couple will divorce within the next 5 years with 90+% accuracy. Ha!…. that was a rabbit trail but too interesting to delete! He has also studied children and their parents. . .
The astounding finding that every new parent should know, is that the brain wave patterns of a depressed parent will be adopted by the baby. In other words, the baby’s brain wave patterns will become depressed. When that happens, development is slowed and there can be long term consequences. Thankfully, as adults, they will have the opportunity to take charge of their brains.
Realizing the unseen battle of brain waves, helps us understand why we feel irritable after hanging out with a bunch of negative nillys and helps us understand how to navigate life. While I don’t recommend cutting off all friendships or contact with people who struggle with pessimism or depression, it is important to be conscious of how they are affecting us and, if needed, limit our exposure. More than anything, people who are depressed need to feel loved, and, influenced by positive brain wave patterns! Yet we must be careful because we lose our ability to love them well if we accidentally adopt their negative brain waves.
Do your part to remain a brilliant light in the world! Know for certain, how you love people consciously, and influence them unconsciously, can make a great difference in their lives and in the lives of those they influence!
This holiday season, be your best self. Be the light of love, joy and peace.