Where Is Your Energy Going?

My habit of too much contemplation was weakening me. Wondering, thinking and reflecting are all a part of contemplation. We absolutely need time for it! However, anything overdone can be detrimental. This habit of overthinking was delaying me taking action.

The antidote for me came in the form of a proverb. It says, “a discerning heart acquires knowledge, the ears of the wise seek it out”. When I focussed the energy I was using contemplating, toward learning, it helped me feel ready to move into action.

My natural tendency used to be that I was a good initiator but could quickly lose interest. When I realized this about myself, I went to the other extreme – too much contemplation. By putting the wisdom of the proverb into practice, I’ve shifted my natural tendency to work for me instead of against me. I’ve found that it is far better to jump into learning about the things I may want to do, before jumping into a commitment. Though it is one more step to take, prior to action, the learning actually helps my contemplation phase move quicker because it often provides answers to things I would otherwise be ruminating on.

We need to spend enough time contemplating, meditating on and praying over big decisions, but taking the time to learn is equally important.

While I’m not always a big fan of personality assessments, things like the Career Direct Assessment and the Symbis Assessment for couples are great tools for learning so that the commitment or direction you decide to take is on more solid ground.

What habits are weakening you?

How would learning or gaining knowledge help?


I’ve learned so much in the last couple of days, thanks to my neighbor, Madison Christine Davis. She is patient and kind and even gave me written instructions to keep for later! Maddie’s been helping me with my web-site for years but over time, she has become a great teacher.

She also helped me link my website to my social media accounts. This is a test post – to see if I can do it by myself.

Thank you Maddie for teaching and empowering me and for spending part of your Spring Break with me!

Kelsey’s Journey to Extraordinary

Occasionally I hear from a gal I coached many years ago. She was my very first client – we started way back in 2007. (In case you are wondering about client privacy, she has been very public, sharing her journey on social media, and is thrilled for me to promote her!)

Kelsey Keogh is a delightful person. Her charm and enthusiasm for life shine when she’s doing what she loves and she gushes with excitement when she is telling you of her latest project or gig. She is one of many amazing people I’ve been privileged to walk alongside.

When I think about the AMAZING people I have coached over the years, I am a bit overwhelmed and certainly honored to have been a part of their journey. It could be that I’ve been blessed with clients that are particularly awesome. Or it could be that I’ve had the privilege of working with ORDINARY people who have made great, maybe, extra-ordinary choices. Choices that led them to wholly living. Choices that were in alignment with who they were created to be; choices that honored their unique personality, skills, abilities, potential, as well as their life and work values.

You see, we’re all just ordinary people. We do ordinary things – eat, sleep, work, raise kids, play a little and some adventurous souls travel or even do extreme sports. But few think they have the potential or resources to do, on a daily basis, the thing they’d REALLY love because they don’t think it’s possible to do that thing that would utilize their uniqueness and be great fun! Kelsey is one example of how stepping out in faith to pursue whole-heartedly what she loved took courage, hard-work, persistence and resilience but has paid off in huge dividends. She chose to have a growth mind-set and it allowed her to blossom.

She was just a junior in high school when we began working together. I was still in the process of becoming certified as a Life Coach but they were willing to let me practice my new skills in exchange for piano lessons for our youngest son.

Kelsey was a responsible young lady and wanted to make wise choices for her future. She loved playing the piano but pursuing music as a career did not seem wise to her. She was good, but lot’s of kids are good. No one considered her a prodigy, so we went through the coaching process and she talked about several other ideas she thought seemed interesting.

She knew it seemed most reasonable to pursue a business degree but she was not excited about it.


Her exuberance when she talked about playing music was undeniable. Her biggest fears were that making her beloved passion into a job might take the joy out of playing – not to mention – how would she ever make money?! Knowing she was not the type who would only be satisfied if she had fame and glory made my job a lot easier.

Kelsey Keogh is an ordinary, young woman who is doing extraordinary things in her twenties! Check out her website – especially the events page and make a date to have dinner at the Space Needle or the Benaroya Hall to see her perform.

If you are ready for a career that fits you like a dream, a good place to start is with the Career Direct assessment. Check it out. https://coachingforwhollyliving.com/career-direct/

Will Your Valentine’s Gift Say What You Expect?

Gifts are a very personal thing. While many people want them to be a reflection of who they are, it is wiser and more beneficial for your relationship to make the gift a reflection of the receiver’s desires and longings.

If you plan on giving the traditional gift – flowers – make sure they arrive in good condition! Check out this review for Delivery Services. 

If your Relationship is On The Rocks, it’s very easy to go wrong! If you’re just looking for something to placate them, then don’t think too much about it, just do the same ole’ thing you’ve always done. It will at least say, “I haven’t forgotten about you.”

At this stage of the relationship, it’s a huge mistake to give an extravagant gift.

Gifts do not heal brokenness and they can drive people apart.

If you want your gift to be the start of a new growth phase for your relationship, give them the gift of your best self. When your relationship was at a good place, YOU were thinking, acting and being different. Regardless of their behavior, re-enacting your best days may cause them to fall in love with you all over again.

Don’t make promises. Just make changes. Investing in your relationship with time that permits loving, encouraging conversation can go a long way! Promises or commitments will be a big flop unless there is real action associated with them. ie. Letting them know that you want to invest in the relationship and believe you will learn how to be a better partner if you attend The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work might be a good way to show them your desire to be a better you. (Don’t worry, they’ll learn a few things too!)

The Early Stages of a Relationship can be a terrifying time for gift giving. Some pressure might be relieved if you remember that unless they have declared their love for you, you can easily scare them away with a gift that is over-the-top. On the other hand, you don’t want to appear stingy. If they know you’re loaded, a candy heart necklace will surely not make them feel special. The gift of time together, like a reasonably nice dinner out or an experience (i.e. a concert you know they’ll enjoy, or something they mentioned wanting to do) that you can then converse about over dessert and coffee are usually safe bets. They allow you to invest in the relationship by giving you time together and give you a way to converse in a non-threatening way.

Well Established Relationships permit more latitude when it comes to gift giving. Honoring your financial situation is important. Not only is it wise to be good stewards of your spending, it can make the receiver uneasy if they are insecure about you spending too much.

Don’t Ever Give: Anything that might affirm a poor body image. i.e. scales, fitness memberships, dieting recipe books, body shaping clothing etc.

Be Very Careful About Giving: *Something that YOU want. It’s only a good idea if you are sure they want the item more than you do!

*Things that could say, “you need to work harder.”  i.e.. tools, cleaning supplies or appliances. If you are considering something like a shop vac or dirt devil it’s only a good idea if you KNOW they will view it as gift that will make their life easier. Tools may be a great idea if they WANT the tools – just don’t give tools you want used on your behalf.

*Items that need to be displayed. i.e. clothing or home decor. It’s usually just not a good idea unless they’ve specifically asked for the item. Even if you are confident of their style, ALWAYS give them an out if you do give something in this category. For instance, a gift receipt and the assurance you want them to exchange it if they are not 100% thrilled. At the very least, the verbal or written assurance the item could be used in a not public way and you would not be offended. i.e. a picture that could be hung in the closet or garage.

Experiences: Can be a great choice. They can serve a two-fold purpose if it is something you’ll do together as you’re also giving the gift of time. But experiential gifts can go awry. Too much too soon or when your at a rocky place ie. vacations and high end experiences can do more damage than good.

Theater or Sporting Events: Can be excellent choices… just be sure to give what THEY want to attend.

Flowers: Generally a good choice. Be aware of any allergies and do your best to make sure your flowers will arrive in good condition. Here is a link for finding the bests delivery service. Reviews

Knowing your partner well is the best way to be a good gift giver. When you listen well, are attentive to their likes and dislikes, and you are observant of their choices, you are likely to know what they would like to receive.

If you are stumped, schedule a session to bounce around ideas. It will be fun!