Regaining Enthusiasm

How I Regained My Enthusiasm & How You Can Too3ddec2a4-3d0d-4742-98db-b639d2618a83

When I stopped writing my newsletter a year and a half ago, I needed a break! I had new things on my plate and rather than trying to do it all, I decided to back off on a few things. Besides that, I’d lost my enthusiasm for writing.

When our enthusiasm is gone, we feel stuck. I sure did! I spent some time down in the rut, but then, I took my first step. Being a coach, I knew that to move out of stuck, I needed to reassess where I was (overwhelmed) and then get clear about where I wanted to be. Since I was feeling overwhelmed, I backed off on things that were draining my energy. 

Taking a break is essential to being able to think clearly. Humans were designed to need rest and relaxation. Our brains need time think outside the confines of our daily grind. We also need to time to think about nothing!

Sometimes we only need a short break. Just a day away to REthink, REfocus and REmember why we are doing what we are doing.


I needed a longer break. Taking a break gave me time to refocus and get clarity. During my break I began working with Stronger Families as a Master Level Trainer. I was traveling all over the US doing presentations at military installations. Learning the ropes of traveling for work from making all the arrangements to being away from home, sometimes 10 days in a month – I was on over-load. Even though it was a great experience. It was too much to try to keep up with all I had been doing. I needed, and wanted to give up something. 

It sounds easy, ‘just take a break,’ but that first step can be really hard. Just knowing what to take a break from can be difficult! We get so bogged down with life and what we ‘have’ to do, that we have no brain space for what we ‘could’ do – or what we could ‘not’ do. We may have no idea why we’ve lost our enthusiasm, but it is gone – and we feel depleted. 

What I learned during my break from writing was that I needed to develop a team of  coaches to work with if I wanted to re-engage with writing and consider taking on more clients. I have done that and I have been inspired to write again! My colleagues are great! I will have (or will) introduce you to Kim Kompel and Ted Hackney in blog posts.

Though we may feel like we have no choice, isn’t being stuck just the result of making the same choice over and over again? I thought I “had” to write my newsletter. If I didn’t, I’d be throwing away everything I’d worked for. When we get stuck in a rut we begin to believe it’s the only way. We’re no longer going where we want to go but can’t see any other way.

Simply reframing our choices and realizing we are NOT stuck. We have chosen this path today. We must consciously recognize our freedom to make different decisions, whenever we are ready. Facing the reality of this freedom helps us feel much better! It can REnew our enthusiasm and bring life back our endeavors. 

How To Have Great Relationships-but don’t expect to like it!

10994946_10153140305943846_8240182326330972053_nIf you’ve read books about leadership lately, you’ve seen the phrases below adapted and rephrased then touted as good leadership skills. No doubt, they are! But rarely do we consider the fact that these things can, and do, serve all of our relationships well. They are the nourishment needed to make them blossom and grow. Consider them like Miracle Grow for relationships!

  • Build each other up
  • Serve one another
  • Carry each other’s burdens
  • Forgive one another
  • Be at peace with each other
  • Comfort one another
  • Care for each other
  • Show kindness towards each other

Breakdowns in relationships often begin when we start expecting others to give to us the very things we once gave freely. i.e. the things listed above.

Books about living a fulfilling life are full of examples of how a person’s life changes and becomes gratifying when 1.) they begin to live for a bigger purpose than themselves and 2.) they focus on giving rather than receiving.

Implementing the things above gives new purpose and meaning to relationships. And many find a sense of fulfillment by choosing, on a daily basis, this selfless way of living. (Don’t worry, people who focus on the good of a relationship, choosing to be a giver, cannot be doormats – but that’s for another article.)

What if this year you decided to bring your best self to your relationships, treating others as you wish to be treated? What if your thoughts, words and actions were not dependant of their choice of words and actions? Sounds depleting to think about but once it becomes a way of life, the contrary is true.

You may even find yourself feeling like a great leader and will likely begin living a fullfilling life, thriving together with those you love.

If that seems like a far cry from where you are, but want to move in that direction, you might be interested in relationship coaching for individuals. My slots are very limited, but I have great referrals and we’re planning on doing a Relationship Group in April at the Coaching For Wholly Living Spring Summit. Be watching for details.

 Speaking of groups, and the Coaching For Wholly Living WINTER Summit, I’ll be posting some AMAZING testimonials soon.

Inspiration, Motivation, Discipline, Great Habits – repeat process

InspirationWhen we are motivated, disciplined and develop good habits around an idea that inspired us, we do great things. Why is it that, very often, we get an idea and feel SO inspired, but nothing ever comes of ‘it’? Maybe you’re like me and you manage to make something of it, but after a while you get bored, decide it’s too much work or it just doesn’t bring much satisfaction.

If you look at steps 1-4 as building blocks, where is it that you habitually fall off the wagon?

1. Inspiration gets us thinking.  2. Motivation gets us moving.  3. Discipline keeps us moving. 4. Great habits keep us inspired.

Of course, we do not have the time, resources or manpower to act on every good idea we have, but when we are truly inspired we contemplate and scheme about how to make ‘it’ happen. We think about ‘it’ a lot, and though we are not conscious of this, even as we sleep our brain organizes our thoughts and ideas (according to world renowned brain researcher, Dr. Caroline Leaf). Our brain literally begins acting on our inspiration. It’s only then that we have the motivation to get our ‘it’ off the ground.

I habitually fall off the wagon just after I’ve reached step #3.  I get motivated and get the ball rolling. Sometimes, if I’m enjoying the process, I’ll develop the discipline to keep the ball rolling. As we all well know, there are pieces of everything we do that don’t bring us a ton of joy. We just want the end result!! It’s when I forget about how good the end result be, and allow my focus to get locked in on the duty of discipline, that I lose heart. I begin to feel like the duty IS the result of my inspiration. How silly!!

On the other hand, when I push through the dutiful, sometimes painful part of discipline, I slowly begin to enjoy the new habit because I can see ‘it’ coming to fruition.

Becoming aware of what gets me off track has helped me persevere and enjoy the benefit of inspiration that comes through a good habit. What does that look like?

Fortunately, the painful part of discipline doesn’t normally last forever because when we begin to see ‘it’ materializing we are inspired once again. Whether it’s playing an instrument, creating great relationships, writing a book, or reaching a career, political or humanitarian goal – to stay inspired, we must decide that it’s worth the effort. The skills of a great pianist slip if they do not play the piano regularly, but what once was a dutiful discipline is a creative outlet they now enjoy. Likewise, a relationship loses vitality when effort wanes but because it brings great joy it becomes easy to nurture.

Once we make these “great habits” part of our everyday life, we experience the joy of what they produce and that keeps us inspired!

Live Victoriously!

You Were Created to beVictorious!

  How Are You Living Victoriously?

To live victoriously you have to have victory over something. Hmmm.

“Everyone  wants to be an overcomer but no one wants to overcome anything!” -Dave Parker

It’s so true. We don’t want to fight!! If it doesn’t come easy we think the door has been closed, but maybe we’re supposed to persevere? How would your life be different if you persevered through the difficult things until the door was slammed shut? What if you didn’t let your passion be snuffed out? What if you put in 100% effort?

What if, when things don’t work out like you hope, instead of giving up, you consciously choose to step back, reassess and find a new approach? Again and again until you find victory? (or the door is slammed shut 🙁 )

Think about it, what is it you really want – PRESENTLY.

Today is a new day and YOU CAN BE VICTORIOUS!

Simply identify what you want and start the process. Clearly you must do the work, but God delights in giving you the desires of your heart. He put them there. Show Him how badly you want it and demonstrate it daily by doing the work!