Today’s Remarks From A Client

I finished up with my last 2 coaching sessions for 2014! As we were finishing up our call she said, “I am certainly a testament to coaching and you are welcome to share what I’ve said.” So here it goes… “Since I started coaching I have changed a lot. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. Here are just a few of the ways I’ve grown:
– In how I view the business I own and the roles of the investors – it’s not so wrapped up with emotion any more.making_change_happen
– I’ve become much more self sufficient in a lot of ways
– I’m now living within my means – never had anything to budget before but now I do!
– In my relationships with people, family and friends
– My need to constantly pack rat has changed – been able to cleanse in lot’s of different areas.
– I’ve confirmed that quality is better than quantity
– I am confident in knowing that I am called by God to do what I do and appreciate the roles of others
– It’s become even more evident that it’s wise to include wise people in my life.”

Your Reactions-Who Is Controlling Them?


“The remarkable thing is I have a choice every day of what my attitude will be. I cannot change my past. I cannot change the actions of others. I cannot change the inevitable. The only thing I can change is attitude. Life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it.” ― Charles R. Swindoll

Multiple credible sources say that  life is 90% about our reactions. If that is so, we need to learn to react in ways that are beneficial. To do that we have to decide of time who we are. We have to be very sure and confident in both our heart and head, of who we are because reactions come from that deep place. When we have this kind of  confidence – we control our reactions and they become helpful.

Reactions may be flippant and short lived, or drawn out for months or years (as was mine in the story below). . . but the truth is a reaction comes from what we believe in our heart and head.

Years ago, I reacted to a friends cutting accusations by reeling in hurt for far too long. The truth was she had seen right through me, but my pride kept me from realizing it and owning up to what she was getting at. I had offered to help and it offended her greatly. She accused me of thinking she was inadequate. Her tone and choice of words were just plain mean, calling me names and such. It was true, I did see her as inadequate. But the truth is, I believe we are all inadequate in some way – that’s why God created us to live in community.  We are supposed to be there for each other and help each other where we are inadequate or weak.

I reacted with an uncalled for amount of  hurt. Had I been forthright and acknowledged the fact that she was right, that indeed I did see her as inadequate,  things would probably have played out better. But I shut down. Putting that into words was not something I was willing to try to do in the moment. It didn’t feel right to say and the last thing I wanted to do was respond to meanness with meanness. But shutting down did not help me! It hurt me tremendously! And I reeled in hurt for a long time.

She  attacked me when I was offering help. Instead of responding with acknowledging the truth that she so aptly exposed, I apologized – repeatedly – expecting to, in time, receive forgiveness. That never happened. Even upon my final apology, begging for forgiveness weeks later, she ridiculed me telling me I was acting like an adolescent. It was so very bizarre to me that a grown woman would choose to be so insulting.  But that is not the point. My reaction was weak – based on fear and insecurity. It was my reaction that caused me so much pain.  Had I been bold and chosen confidence, knowing my intentions were pure, her words would not have been able to penetrate my heart.

Since then I have learned that my reactions come from the belief about who I am. Like most people, I struggle with insecurity and fear, so I have to consciously choose an attitude of confidence and boldness. By confidently saying that I was sorry she was offended and boldly stating that my offer was motivated out of love and compassion, I could have avoided feeling so much pain. It was the attitude fear of insecurity that I chose that caused me to first, shut down,  and then be bitter for a while.

The feelings of woundedness and bitterness keep us down and prevent us from choosing healthy attitudes of  joy, thankfulness, boldness and confidence. As Swindoll says our attitude is something we can choose. If we can choose it, we can change it!  And boy does that change feel good!

Hurting Hearts Across the Nation


I couldn’t say this better myself so I’m re-posting a great article.

Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
“where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
“this is heaven.” declared a small boy. “we’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of mom and dad.”
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
“Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
“may this country be delivered from the hands of fools”
“I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
“come now my children, let me show you around.”
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
“in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

Positive Thinking Not Working?


We’re a few weeks into the new year and they say 85% of resolutions have already been broken.  If  that’s true for you, my guess is you thought you had a pretty good strategy. You planned to muster up more will power and start your days with positive thoughts. 

Yeah well, don’t feel bad. We’ve been bombarded for years with positive thinking scams – it’s no wonder we, as a society, have fallen prey to this elusive idea that just doesn’t work.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am a huge proponent of making lemonade when life gives me lemons.  Looking for the good in life what I do, but thinking I will accomplish things just because my little mind wants to is ridiculous unless I use my little mind to put a plan in place to make it happen.  That plan has to have a few steps (or even just one)that I can take, today. And then a few more tomorrow and so on until magically, I reach my goal!  Too big of a step and I’m back to square one because my legs only stretch so far … past that point – I am injured.

Exercise is a great example. While we have to push ourselves a little farther than is comfortable in order to move on to the next goal, taking on too much will result in injury. So it is in life.  Injury or failure do not have to end  the pursuit. Everyone will experience them occasionally. Those who become successful are those who view the set back as a signal to take time to recover, then reassess move forward at a more reasonable pace.

Support is another key ingredient. Weight Watchers is highly successful because  they are there for support  and they help you with setting your goals. It’s not just one big number looming out there that feels totally overwhelming….. they help you week by week set little goals that will in time lead you to that big number – and it works! Almost like magic! 🙂

If will power and positive thinking have failed you, it’s not too late.  Find the support you need, set your goal and then make a plan with doable Action Steps.  And we’ll be saying Woot with you sooner than you think! 

Here’s a shout out for the 15% who are on track with their goals! Woot! Keep up the good work!  I’m confident, many more will be joining you soon.